Revelation

Alright so the last post was a little over the top with emotion...but...I don't choose to delete it. I still kind of feel that way and that's exactly how I felt at the time. It was blunt, honest, and I wasn't pretending. Sometimes I wonder why I care so much. So going on that I really enjoyed Steve's message today.

"There is no room for pretending in spiritual life. Unfortunately, in many religious circles, there exists an unwritten rule: pretend. Give the impression that everything is ok in your life when it's not; pretend you believe when you doubt; hide your imperfections; and whenever you do, don't admit you sin. The essence of messy spirituality is the refusal to pretend, to lie, or to allow others to believe we are something we are not. Yet, most people can handle the most difficult of issues easier than they can handle the lack of pretending."- Mike Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality.

I am realizing more and more each day that I need to let God intervene in my life. I have a lot of stress and issues that I think I can take care of..the truth...I can't do it on my own. God wants me to seek him. He likes me in my weakness. I don't have to pretend for him I just have to come as I am.

"There's something terribly attractive about knowing what to do to make things better in your life. If we can explain why we feel so bad in terms of something specific and correctable--like not spending enough time in 'devotions,' then we can do something about it. Nothing is more terrifying than staring at a problem for which we have no solutions under our direct control. Trusting another is perhaps the most difficult requirement of the Christian life. We hate to be dependent because we have learned to trust no one--not fully--because we know better; everyone in whom we have placed our confidence has in some way disappointed us. To trust fully, we conclude, is suicide." -Larry Crabb, Inside Out

I realize the only person I can fully trust is God. He is the person I need to turn to. I can't even fully trust myself with all my problems. That's why he is there...I can turn all my problems over to him.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Listen for GOD'S voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT/The Message)

Dear Lord,
Allow me to turn to you with all my problems. Give me hope and faith that you are doing what is best for me. Allow me to lose my control and not care so much. Help me to listen for your voice in everything and realize that you will (and even want to) direct my paths. Amen.