Why are the easiest words in the English language so hard to wrap your mind around? Trust. Love. Hope. Grace. Faith. Truth. Hate. Hurt. Think it is easy? Take your definition of hope. A new mother getting a wonderful ultrasound saying everything is fine? That’s a sign of hope. Now say you just got kicked off of a transplant list, your only hope of survival. Hope is diminished. Hate. I two year old hates taking a bath or you hate someone that has hurt you deeply. Love. I love my husband…now what if you are recently divorced? Or what if you don’t talk to your family? You may have a different explanation of love.
All of that to bring me to this word…TRUST. Why is it so hard to trust another person? Which do you believe… people are generally bad but make some good choices in life OR people are generally good but make bad choices in life? Do people generally lie or do people sometimes lie withdrawing your trust in them? What is the definition of trust in your mind?
Back to the first question…Why is it so hard to trust another person? I don’t know the answer. I generally don’t trust people. This isn’t something I like about myself. Why don’t I trust people? I guess I’ve been let down too many times. Is it smart not too trust people right out of the gates? Are you supposed to trust them until they give you a reason not too?
Here is what I do not trust. I won’t trust someone that generally talks a lot about other people. If you talk about everyone in town how am I supposed to believe that you won’t turn around and talk about me to everyone else?
I do not trust people that “throw me or others under the bus” so to speak. If you try to make yourself look better by putting someone else down (especially in front of other people) then I generally will not trust you.
Another thing I do not trust… I don’t trust when you confine in someone about something that aggravates you and then they in turn tell someone else. Like “Hey Sarah, come here, you got to hear this…this just happened to Veronica….and it’s so funny because I was just telling her the same thing happened to you”. Haha…yeah…great thank you for that (and in your mind you are smashing your head against a wall).
I don’t trust people that are always negative. Will everything I say to them turn into something negative?
I think my biggest fear with trust is that it will turn into judgment. If I peel back the layers of who I really am will you run and tell your friends what a lunatic I am?
And all of this leads me to this…good friends are hard to find. I have only a few people that really know all the dirt on me and have not told another person and, frankly they really don’t care because they love me so much it doesn’t matter. And, I’m so thankful for a forgiving God…because without him…well, what kind of life would that be?
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4 comments:
Oh my dear Sarah. How I love thee...trusting others. Isn't it fascinating? I can identify so much with this blog. Finding those that are genuine...I struggle with this a lot. I don't think we are alone. I would say A LOT of people feel this way. I think to myself, some of the greatest friends I have are the friends that not only let me tell them exactly how I feel and who I am, but that will tell me things they see within me that I could change to help make me a better person. You know, the ones that provide different perspectives (hmmm...maybe that will be my next blog :) and help me see things differently. They don't do this because they want to throw me under the bus, but because they truly care about me. I do know however, we have one friend we can forever trust and confide in...God. He will listen, He will not judge, He will guide, and He can be trusted.
I think that people are basically good, but sometimes make bad decisions. I also believe that there are various levels of trust. I may trust you enough to work on a project with you, but not enough to take my kids somewhere. I think that people must earn higher levels of trust and we are responsible for making sure that they are worthy.
Laura,
Thanks for your different perspective. I really appreciate it. That's why I post these blogs..to learn something...and you have just shown me something new : )
Love Laura's post! It makes so much sense. I can identify with the taking the kids somewhere! Awesome perspective....
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